A Balancing Act

"The balance of what you can achieve between the value of your worth is determined by you, nobody else has a say." -Summer Skye Raine

Hi. I'm Summer and I have a lot on my mind. We are going to have an amazing time getting to know each other, but for now we will skip the favorite colors and what foods we like best. Let's dive into some serious, personal topics why don't we.

PART ONE: The Message 

This past week I received a message that a year ago would have crushed my soul because I used to believe this, and I don't say it lightly, GARBAGE. As the message went on, "You are not a good person, try and lie on all your social media and encourage people all you like. You're a fake, treacherous, lying snake and you have no love, honor, or loyalty."

At first thought, I was going to refrain from telling you the background story... but with me, there is no filter needed. We are all adults here and I can safely assume a handful of us have been through a rocky relationship that did not end well. With that in mind, let me simplify a long story to this: my first marriage put me through a toxic tunnel I almost lost sight of the light at the end. After a long ten months of wanting to leave, I finally got out which did not make him very happy. For my readers who have been through this, once you leave your previous partner will do anything to get away from being hurt, even accuse you of cheating, in my case.

What we are going to emphasize throughout the blog is this, "You are not a good person, try and lie on your social media and encourage people all you like."

First and foremost, raise your hand if you've ever received a message like this: a paragraph lashing out by calling you names, exploiting your dreams, and trying to tarnish your happiness with their anger. If you're raising your hand, keep it there and think with me: have you ever believed a message like this? Have you wanted to cry accepting the message as your fate? The truth is, I have accepted several messages in the past from other people to be true about myself.... but not this one.

PART TWO: The Mental Shift

The mental shift comes with one secret factor: you have to want to not believe. I won't lie to you, in the beginning it will take some work getting around these thoughts. After all, it probably is not a stranger messaging you about this kind of topic, it could be someone you thought was your friend, or in my case, someone I thought I loved. In these scenarios, we need to get out of the world and back into our own head space. Work along with me on these questions:

Who's been there since day one?
Who really decides who you are?
Who decides what career path you choose?

If you answered "me" to these three questions, we are on the same page thus far. You're correct, you've been with yourself since day one, you choose how you behave and who you are, and you pick what career path you want.

When we receive messages that conflict with these three questions, we can not jump to believe what this person is saying. They have not been there since day one. Their perception of you is not the real you because they don't decide who you are. And don't get me too started on the fact that nobody can go after your dreams implying that you can't do what you're doing.

WE ARE IN CHARGE.

PART THREE: Relating Information

Let's think back on our quote, "The balance between what you can achieve between the value of your worth is determined by you, nobody else has a say."

As we start to connect the dots a little more, I want to dive a tad further into the crack we have made on the surface. Now is a perfect time to compare the balance:

What you can achieve : Who decides what career path you choose?
Let's keep this ball rolling, do you remember the message saying, "you can try and lie on social media and encourage people all you like." All I like, he says, as in sarcasm that I am not qualified to help inspire others. At what cost he says this? His own anger, his own sadness.... but at what truth? Not my own. I decide that I am capable of encouraging my social media platform. I decide that I branch out and start my own podcast, this blog, and so much more.

So work along with me here: has any ever tried to tell you that your dreams are not sustainable? That you may not be able to achieve them based off of X, Y, and Z? I can bet a bottom dollar that X, Y, and Z have to do with their perception and nothing to do with how much you can truly achieve. I encourage you to lay out your goals and keep them at the forefront.

The value of your worth : Who really decides who you are?
Continuing with our comparison, along with other name calling he went to tell me that I am not a good person. The first thing we need to get covered is that there is no correlation to your worth and what you can achieve. As we dissect this message, we need to realize that this was the connection made, but as I've said before only by HIM. Not me. Not you. Not us.

You will ALWAYS be in charge of who you really are, even if someone else perceives you differently. There will always be someone out there who sees you other than who you really are, but as we begin our own life journey we need to tune them out, because their opinions DO NOT MATTER in the decision of your worth. The value of your worth is greater than any negative opinions put together.

PART FOUR: The Takeaway

Thank you for reading along with me up until this point: we have reached our final paragraphs! As I finish out this very important topic, I think it is a great idea that we recap:

"The balance of what you can achieve and the value of your worth is determined by you, nobody else has a say." 
↪YOU determine your worth and what you can achieve
↪There is not a correlation between the two: a simple balance
↪YOU are in charge of your life

As we work through these mental shift questions and relate them to our own personal situations, I would LOVE to know through email, comment, or message:

What's your takeaway?
What is one thing that is starting to get you think?

I'd like to thank you one more time for reading my very first blog post and I look forward to hearing what you guys are learning.