I have NEVER been able to wear a shirt that shows my chest. . .

What aids happiness?

I’m jumping right into this one. I want you to think about how you grew up for a moment. (number of family members, parenting techniques, traditions, household rules, type of child you were, what games you liked, type of student you were, who you hung around, songs you listened to, family vacations, your meals at home, etc, etc) 

I want you to know that EVERYTHING has affected you in some way, shape, or form.

1. Some of these things you’ve filtered out.

2. Some of these things you’ve stored as memories.

3. Some of these things have subconsciously engraved themselves into your every day life. 

Now I want you to think about how this has happened TO EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET and how different everyone’s answers are. I want you to wonder how easy it could’ve been being born someone else, living a different life. .  It could’ve been the easiest thing to have happened. 

I felt the need to point this out right away, because once you come to the realization how your life is the way your life is AND that it’s happening to everyone else; it’s the first step into the “ah-ha” moment that you really are in charge of your life. You’ll be in charge of your life the moment these realizations start happening. 

You didn’t necessarily get to choose the family, the place, where, or how you’ve grown up but you get to choose how you react, respond, and restore. This is a direct correlation to number 3 above, about how some things have subconsciously engraved themselves into your every day life. These are the things that in essence, effect us the most, especially the negatives. The I’m not good enough, the failures, the sadness, the doubt, the lack of,  and the fear. A lot of human beings are living their everyday life in their subconscious mind. Here are some examples of my subconscious mind:

1. Not being able to wear a shirt that shows my chest because I have the fear my boobs are too big, saggy, and because when I was 13 someone noticed all my stretch marks. This sounds weird, but it’s really not: I once wore a low cut shirt, bent over and someone asked me, “what are all those lines?” 

➡️For years after, I responded to the situation by allowing my subconscious mind to be afraid of this happening again. 

2. Feeling overweight compared to skinnier sisters growing up led my subconscious mind to restore this situation over and over that I would only be worthy if I lost weight. This allowed my life to roller coaster in fad diets and never understanding the root solutions or the root problems.

➡️ I’ve had to face the fact that at 12 years old, I ate a whole pizza by myself home alone and hid the evidence so I didn’t get caught.

➡️ I’ve had to face the fact that when my mom called me fat for eating 4 brats at dinner time that THIS DOES NOT DEFINE ME. 

What does define me is how I react, respond, and restore to the situation. Think about this for a moment with me: how you lived your life affected you and how you're living your life now is and is going to continue to affect you.

If this is making sense so far, the second realizations to note is that for everything that has happened in your life, there are root problems with root solutions. This doesn’t mean “lose weight fast” or “have surgery to make me feel better” THIS HAS TO DO WITH YOUR MIND. This has to do with what you’ve experienced and how it’s affecting you. 

1. Me, finally being able to wear a shirt that shows my chest didn’t happen magically. It came because I’ve pinpointed the root problem: that I was afraid of something that someone else said, 6 years ago. 

➡️My root solution is going back to the realization that it doesn’t have to be this way. I’m in charge. I let go. I embrace something new. My new present moment. Hell, my root solution allows me to find what once looked ugly, to being beautiful. 

2. Me, finally being able to differentiate who I am VS the food I eat took me 6 years of denying my root problem, my struggles with food and why. 2019 it seems everyone has their own overcoming when it comes to food: mine was not understanding core nutrients functions. I was able to eat and overeat whatever was convenient. I relate this back to how I grew up, the availability, and lifestyle my family lived.
➡️My root solution is then realizing it’s another lifestyle that suits me. The years of dieting the lifestyle my family led me to live isn’t effective. The core of this for me was learning what food really is, how it benefits me, and how it affects me short and long term.

What does this have to do with happiness?

Band-aids can’t effectively cover bullet wounds.

Following other human beings journey, reading books, listening to podcasts, bouncing ideas around with people around you, etc, etc are amazing outlets to continuing aid your happiness, but it will all boil down to you at the end of the day. As human beings it is effective to get to the bottom of things in your own life, your own root problems because then you can uncover your root solution. The beauty of life is this is different for everyone. I can 100% say I am happier understanding the following: 

1. How I’ve grown up

2. The events that previously affected me that I buried 

3. Fulfilling my solution. 

It has boosted my confidence by not being weighed down by events that aren’t who and where I am anymore. I feel more inclined to embracing who I am and loving who I am.

This is just the beginning. . . .